In my first progress report, I had success with peeing in a center stall with the door ajar. The new plan called for using the stall nearest the urinals with the door ajar. A small step to be sure but by reducing my opportunities for failure I hope to avoid an ego-deflating setback.
So how did I do?
Attempt 1 : After drinking water all morning my urgency level was at about a 9. Finding the bathroom empty I took up position in the leftmost stall. I had intended to leave the door ajar per plan but it swung right open. Didn't seem to make me anxious so I left it as it was. Waiting for someone to come into the bathroom was painful, I felt a fool standing there, desperate for a pee waiting for someone to come in. Eventually I heard the bathroom door open and I had a momentary flash of anxiety, more suprise than anything, and was able to pee. Success!
Side Note : I wonder if the standing around waiting for someone else to arrive has a useful behaviour-modifying side-effect. Maybe it is training you so that having someone around is a triggering event for being able to pee. In other words, the presence of other people gives you permission to go. I don't care so long as it works.
Attempt 2 : This time I go to the bathroom with an urgency of about 9/10. I stand ready to act when someone walks in. Nobody does, for 5 minutes. I give up and decide to go to a busy mall for lunch so I can test a different bathroom. Takes 10 minutes to get there, really need to go when I arrive. Someone is just finishing up at the urinal and I think someone is in the far stall so I just take the vacated urinal. Manage to go immediately with no anxiety. After a few seconds realize that nobody is in the stall. I don't know why I didn't stick to the plan. I count this a failure.
Attempt 3 : After 30 ounces of water washed down with Coca-Cola I needed to go with an urgency of about 9.5. The bathroom was empty so I duly waited. Happily I didn't have to wait too long this time. Someone came in, I was able to go just fine. Success!
Attempt 4 : Wanted to make one last try, just to be sure. I hung out in the bathroom a couple of times but there just wasn't enough traffic and I didn't feel I could stand there for 15 minutes just waiting.
Two successes today but not the three I was hoping for. Today I wished I had a pee-buddy, I probably would have been able to make all my attempts really count. I'm starting to feel that I need a higher-throughput bathroom to be tested.
I'd call today a qualified success but I'm not sure where to go from here. My successes today were with the stall door fully open which was a step-up from the plan of having the door ajar.
I think I'll stick with the current plan for another 3 clear attempts. If that works then I'll try moving out of the stall.
Further reading :
Read how this new plan worked out.